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Every guy has a set of core values for who he is, what he stands for, and what he really wants out of life.
Sometimes in a relationship, a guy will really, really love a girl and may start to compromise these core values.
Recently the subject of guys and breakups came up and Sabrina and I went back and forth about what guys generally go through when they breakup.
It came down to be too much to put into the article I was writing, so we decided that I should throw it all into an installment of “Decoding Male Behavior.” To start, I wanted to write this article to dispel some of the misconceptions I’ve heard in regards to men and breakups.
In the case where you dumped the guy, one common reason is that the guy doesn’t want to be alone, he doesn’t want to deal with his grief over the breakup and he doesn’t want to “deal with himself.” When he jumps into another relationship, he can get a dose of external female validation and derive a feeling of false sense of self-esteem and self-worth from her positive attention.
For men and women, growth in relationship is in direct proportion to one’s sense of emotional responsibility.For people that haven’t yet fully realized that all of us need to be emotionally responsible (which is most people), this is where much of the pain of the breakup originates from (they blame themselves for not “measuring up”…or they blame the other person for not “making them happy”… It’s incredibly painful to believe that someone else could be responsible for your emotions or that you could possibly be responsible for their emotions.All they experience is the continuous suffering and they want the suffering to end.So as an easy way to “numb out” from what might seem like unending suffering, they jump into another relationship so they can continue feeding their sense of well-being.